Ashbery Contest Winners

Thanks to everyone who responded!  "Caffeine energy gum" has brought out the best in you (as it has in me).  I'm saddened that I only have three copies to giveaway, but such is the nature of the universe.  Congratulations to our three winners!  Each will receive a copy of A Worldly Country by John Ashbery.

"Boundaries undot from maps despite the caffeine energy gum chewed by cartographers."
- Jeff Popovich

"Chomping on the caffeine energy gum was giving him a presidential jawline."
- Noah Falck

"The buzz off caffeine energy gum is nothing like an Ashbery poem."
- Ivy Alvarez

And here, I take the liberty (if you would like to be removed, let me know) to list the entries that just didn't get to me in time:

"Your caffeine energy gum spit makes of my dust a thrilled bolus."
- GM Quinte

"Embryos twist with caffeine energy, gum drops growing in mothers' hyperactive wombs."
- Elizabeth Wilcox

"All three--caffeine, energy, gum--will certainly always make mice of men."
- Holly Salmon

"The string of caffeine energy gum looped around his face, embracing him."
- Imani

"Never use caffeine energy gum for plugging holes in your hard palate."
- Ben Stevenson

"Your first mistake was thinking that caffeine energy gum was a suppository." *
- Mary Toton

"They're a worldly country, with their caffeine energy gum and gasoline-powered pants."
- Caroline Hsu

"I popped some more caffeine energy gum and headed for the whorehouse."
- Milo Nemet

"Mix caffeine energy gum with guano, and you've got a world-class concrete"
- Jennifer Pisculli

"No, Governor Dean, don't forget your last experience with caffeine energy gum!"
- Raul Woodmancy

* see comments

Comments

[Benjamin Hayes]

Mary Toton's is clearly the best. She deserves all three free copies. Milo Nemet and Raul Woodmancy are a close second and third.

[Mike]

I meant to specify, as I normally do for contests, that the first three respondents would be the winners. Even so, I think we have three respectable winning entries. I'll be clearer in the future.

[Mike]

Actually, I've decided that in addition to the three winners already announced, who were, in my opinion, among the best, another copy will be sent to an entry of undeniable merit. Congratulations to Mary Toton!